Who Would You Choose?

It’s a nice day outside. People are laughing; walking by without a care in the world. I’m sitting at a bar with a drink in my hand, hoping that the answers just come to me. Maybe not the answers. Maybe just the right words to convince her that it’s not as bad as it is….

I Just Want To Know

I just want to know that I was important to you, because you were to me. I just want to know that I meant something to you, because you meant everything to me. I just want to know if your heart breaks when you see a photo of me, or if your heart skips a…

The Moment

I was working in the pediatric emergency room that night. We had gotten a call earlier of a patient coming in who was found unconscious  in the bathtub. 10 years old, a child, a firefighters child; and the worst part? the dad responded to that call. The patient suffered from a history of seizures and…

The Value of Words

There is a moment in everyones lives, that I would say is a “defining moment”. That moment; where you look back on and realize whatever was said or done, has just changed your perspective and world forever. Well; I had one of those, and I would almost consider it an “occational magic” moment. That magic…

It Will Never Be Me

“te amo” Looking at her face; I admire her strength. Those fragile features, smooth skin, the subtle way her mouth twitches when she’s hurting; shows nothing of the pain she has been through. “te amo” I say once more; as I brush her hair behind her ear. these next words will be the hardest thing…

Still Not Enough

As the nurse walks the mother out of the viewing room… I overhear them speak: “They didn’t suffer.” The she tells the mother; yes they did… I thought to myself. “ they passed away Instantly” No. No they didn’t. One of them suffocated to death with 45% of her body burned, while her other daughter…

Solo Espero

Te Amo, Y te extraño, y espero que sea suficiente “Te amo”, she says. He smiles looking back at her. She faces him; “Y te extraño”. Blowing him a kiss. He laughs and turning away while shaking his head. “Y espero que sea suficiente”; she whispers. So softly, only she can hear.

I keep drowning

How many circles can I walk in before I give up looking? How long before I’m lost for good? It must be possible to swim in the ocean of the one you love without drowning It must be possible to swim without becoming water yourself But I keep swallowing what I thought was air, I…

A Million Little Things

“After EVERYTHING I’ve done for you, you can’t give me this! After all of the times I have been there for you, you are telling me I can’t take time for myself?” She screams at me. I am dumbfounded, I cant speak…can’t form the words to say. You see after being in a toxic relationship,…

Where Do I Go From Here

Sitting outside on the cold bench in the large ambulance bay, it’s quiet, empty. As the wind blows leaves rustle making a soothing sound to my ears. The cold darkness almost feels like a warm embrace now, I am used to this feeling. I shouldn’t be. Grasping tightly at my mental health challenge coin, I…